I should have listened to my wife yet again ..... when will I learn?

Disclaimer: Before I start into this, you might want to sit down and grab a tissue. If you don't I can't be held responsible for any mishaps.

This past week my family has been watching my sister's 2 dogs. That is addition to our 2 dogs and a cat, so we had a few 4 legged friends hanging around. For the most part, they are not much trouble. A couple of nights ago it had been raining and the dogs had just been out to do their business. A couple of the dogs think they are too good to walk out into a wet lawn and safely relieve themselves. The dogs were let into the house without inspecting what went on. One of the dogs apparently left a nice big pile on the rug we keep at the back door. OK, I know what you are thinking but don't get ahead of me! A short while later I was heading out the back door to take the trash out which is my duty every night before trash day. As I opened the door I was talking to my lovely wife and took a step out the door before looking. I am used to firmly planting my feet on a hard surface or at least a rug. Instead I felt the gut awful feeling of "squishing" at that time I think I let out a "Oh crap! Darn dogs!". Talking with the wife later, I think she said she was dying because she can imagine what just happened. I was thankful I had shoes on because I often take the trash out in bare feet.

But wait it gets better. A couple of days later it is time for the visiting 4 legged niece and nephew to go back home. Being the nice brother that I am, I chose to take the dogs to my sister's because it is not far from my work place. I drive a small Ford Ranger that is a regular cab. Because it was cold this morning, I decided to let the dogs ride up front with me instead of their cage in the bed of the pickup truck. Just as I put them in my wife offers to get some newspapers to put down because the female has a weak bladder. She easily pees if stressed, scared or whatever and the dog did not do #2 that morning she proclaimed. I wasn't too concerned. I figured it was a short enough ride and that it wasn't worth the hassle. OK again, don't get ahead of me ...

The ride was going pretty good and we were about 3/4 the way there when all of the sudden the female dog is trying to dive down below my feet as I am driving. I catch her and push her back and then I smell it. (pause for dramatic affect) Oh my gosh, I could not imagine something so foul coming from that cute dog. I thought I was going to die. I am quickly looking for a place to pull over. It takes me about 5 minutes to find someplace. In that 5 minutes the male dog is climbing up the back of my seat and is perched behind my head on top of the head rest trying to escape the brown mound substance piled about 3 inches high on my cloth seats of my truck. I could not be a hard firm poo, it had to be more like the consistency of peanut butter and I think she had been saving it up for weeks. She was just staring at me standing in the seat. I am not sure what I said at this point.

I pulled into the Bass Pro Shop parking lot and quickly grabbing the male dog and putting him in the cage that was in the bed of the pickup. I returned to cab to get the source of the poo and found that she had moved from the passenger seat into the drivers seat while stepping in the poo and tracking it onto my armrest, driver's seat, and my cell phone. When I picked her up she proceeded to pee in the drivers seat leaving a nice 6 inch wet spot in addition to poo doggy foot prints on this seat.

Fortunately I have a tool box on my truck that is stocked with rags, trash bags, and paper towels. I used what I had to pick up the huge mound of poo off the passenger's seat as best as I could without pushing it further into the fibers of the seat. I dabbed up as much as possible, put a plastic trash bag on the drivers seat to prevent the pee from soaking up into my pants, rolled the windows down and proceeded on my way with the dogs in the back of the truck. At this point I was not too concerned with their discomfort. Got within a couple blocks of my sisters house put a moving blanket down on the passenger seat and put the dogs back in the cab so my sister would not see that they were riding in the back. Got to my sister's without further incident.

My sister asked if we had any problems and I just smiled and lied through my teeth. So whatever you do, don't let her know.

I made it to work and saturated my trucks interior with Pinesol. If anything it smells a little better.

I can't blame the dog. This was yet another one of those things where I should have listened to my wife. Someday I will learn.

I hope your day started better than mine :-)